New Beginnings of some Old Stuff

I have done a lot of things over the years, had a lot of different jobs, but at my core I have come to terms with the fact that I am a writer. Over the years also my writings have had to live in different places. First, of course is the binder (currently in the garage) of the stuff before the internet. Then I had a blog on Yahoo, then I had a stand alone domain for a word press blog. Now, I believe I have found a "forever" home for my stuff here in Google. The following is a post is from my yahoo days in 2005.

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December 13, 2005
The house is so quiet.... all of the boys are at work... I guess this is something I should get used to... Thomas (My oldest still at home) is going to dinner with an older woman. She has a place of her own and a 13 year old boy... sigh... I have talked til I was blue in the face about the dangers of older women. He agrees with me to my face but I can see the writing on the wall.... sigh..... how dare they grow up
I was telling Thomas last night how sometimes I stop and look at my life and I realize that I have accomplished something. After his father moved out I did not move back home, I kept the place we had been renting (with 5 kids at that time). I never moved a man in with me.... I dated here and there.... but down deep inside I wanted to prove to him, to my parents, and to myself that I could do it on my own.
So many women that have been abandoned and divorce like me go through man after man... the kids see a parade of men go through their mother's bedroom.... I wanted to be different and I have accomplished that.... neither me nor the kids have turned out like the statistics
I guess I am sensing a change in my life and processing it all. The house is empty and will keep getting empty, the boys are building thier lives and moving on and that is how it shoudl be... I have done my job as their mother and I have done a good job, they are good boys.
I guess now I have to figure out "who am I" all over again. I remember this feeling when my husband left me.... how could I be a housewife with no husband? I ended up going back to college and took on the life of a full time college student... it was good for me, I took my child support and applied for student aid and went and got my degree.
Now, with the kids moving out and "leaving me" I am at the same juncture in life.... who am I? how can I be a mother with no children? am I a business woman? a grandmother? a married man's mistress?
LOL.... I need to get in the shower and get on with my day. Who I am will work itself out... it always does.... it did 12 years ago.... it will again.